Choosing Yourself in a World That Wants You Desperate, a Power of Choosing the Role That Chooses You Back
Job hunting isn’t just about landing a role – it’s about making decisions that shape your future.
In a market filled with unemployment, financial constraints and uncertainty, the job space is overflowing with candidates searching for that perfect position – the next step up, a growth opportunity, or simply any opportunity. And sometimes you are lucky or fortunately enough to be approached by prospective employers and or leaders.
If hiring were always fair and transparent, this would be a painless experience built on trust, respect, openness and fairness. But reality often looks different – and that’s where discernment becomes essential. You are the owner and driver of your future. The key is in your hands. Own it.
The process (add your tips below – this is relative):
- Prepare yourself
- Get your CV in order
- Benchmark your requirements, values, goals and future
- Seek assistance from professionals
- Apply – or market yourself
- Prepare again for the interviews
- Show up
- Get the offer
- Now interview the position and leadership
- … consciously and with clarity decide
But here’s where the proverbial bus rolls down the mountain – and whether you’re in that bus or a bystander depends on what you do next. My suggestion: don’t board the bus until you’re sure you’ve bought the right ticket.
The responsibility is ours to make the right decisions for ourselves. Every decision requires personal ownership. Whether it turns out justified or not – YOU still need to decide. Some people are okay with red flags; others aren’t. Some choices will be lifesavers; others will be the opportunity that got away.
My tips for everyone currently looking
- Don’t rush. Here’s my favourite quote: “What is meant for you will find you, even if it is under the highest mountain.”
- Prepare, prepare, prepare. Ask professionals or likeminded individuals for honest reviews and experiences.
- Check your readiness. Before you start, check in with yourself: Are you mentally and emotionally prepared? Job hunting is draining – protect your energy and pace yourself.
- Do a skill audit. Know your strengths and gaps. If a small course, certification or project will unlock your next step, invest in it before you need it.
- Get visible. Network with intention. Let your community know you’re open, join relevant groups, and have conversations – not just applications.
- Research the person AND the company – the same, or even better, way they research you. Look at leadership style, reputation, stability, and how they treat people.
- Culture matters. Beyond title and salary, ask: Will I thrive here? Do their values align with mine and the life I’m building?
- Think long-term. Where will this role take you in 12–36 months? Will your future self thank you for this decision?
- Understand the difference between desperation, eagerness and responsible choices. Urgency shouldn’t override wisdom.
- A job offer is only good once the contract has been agreed upon and signed. Handshakes, letters and promises don’t pay bills.
- Ask the questions you might forget:
- Financial reality: Will I be better off after tax? What hidden costs exist (commute, data, meals, equipment, parking, childcare, medical gap cover)?
- Two‑column comparison: What I have now vs what I will have there (comp, benefits, learning, culture, flexibility, leadership, growth).
- Benefits & total rewards: Leave, bonus structure, medical aid, retirement, variable pay, overtime, on‑call, allowances, tools.
- Contract clarity: Probation terms, KPIs, working hours, hybrid/remote expectations, expenses, IP and restraint clauses, performance reviews. As much as the contract protects you, it also protects the company.
- Exit terms: Notice periods, pay-out rules, garden leave, clawbacks and non‑competes. Life changes – know your exit before you enter.
- Day 1 readiness: Do I already have the answers I need to start strong, or do I need a follow‑up meeting?
- Take your time. Ask questions – even schedule a second (or third) conversation. The right employer will respect diligence.
- Assess psychological safety.
During interviews, pay attention to how people speak to you, to one another, and about others. Do they listen? Do they respect boundaries? Does the environment feel safe to ask questions without judgement? Culture is built on behaviour, not branding. - Understand role expectations vs. reality.
Ask: What does success look like in the first 90 days? Why is the role vacant? What challenges will I inherit? Clarity now prevents conflict later. - Evaluate leadership alignment.
You don’t work for a company — you work with a leader. Research their track record, communication style, values and reputation. People leave people, not jobs. - Look for consistency.
Does what they say match what they do? Do conversations align with the contract? Are timelines honoured? Misalignment early on often predicts future misalignment. - Test the waters with scenario questions.
Ask how the team handles conflict, tight deadlines, mistakes, difficult clients, or personal emergencies. Their answers will reveal expectations, empathy and adaptability. - Consider lifestyle impact.
Beyond salary, ask: Will this job enhance or drain my quality of life? Commute, hours, stress, support systems and flexibility matter more than most people admit. - Protect your boundaries.
If a role requires you to compromise your non‑negotiables (ethical, mental, financial, personal, relational), it’s not the right fit — no matter how tempting the offer. - Check sustainability.
Is the company stable? Is the industry growing or shrinking? Are there restructuring signals? A job is not just your present — it’s your future stability. - Remember that intuition is data.
If something feels off, pause. A red flag in the beginning often becomes a crisis later. Your intuition is part of your decision‑making toolkit.
Final thought: Ownership is power. Discernment is peace. Alignment is the difference between surviving the workday and building a life you’re proud of.
I don’t know, may never know 100% whether I made the right decision to turn away a job opportunity because I was asked “Why do you need a contract”, or when I was frowned upon checking the basic conditions of employment, or the warning signs from social media. Yet I couldn’t with certainty ignore the red flags, or the uneasy feeling. I’m a firm believer of what is for me will find me and what is mine will never leave – and therefore I trust the one side of the coin – the one that says… This wasn’t meant for you.
What would you add to this list? Your insight could be exactly what someone needs today.
Reach out to me, Malikah (Joanie) on:
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/joanienel/
E-mail: malikahzia9@gmail.com